They Maintain A “Home-Court Advantage”
Whether you are a real home or just a favorite coffee shop, being in your home can make a difference. If other people always insist on meeting in their field, they may try to create a power imbalance. They claim ownership of the space, which puts you at a disadvantage.
E.g., “If you can walk to my office. I’m too busy to trek to you.” “You know how far it is to drive. Come here tonight.”
They Are Too Close and Too Fast
In the traditional “know you” stage, emotional manipulators may skip some steps. They “shared” their darkest secrets and loopholes. But what they are doing is trying to make you feel different to reveal your secrets. They can use these sensitivities on you later.
E.g., “I think the connection between us is profound. I have never had this happened before.” “I have never shared their vision with me like you. We want to be together.”
They Let You Speak First
It is a popular strategy in individual business relationships, but it can also occur in personal relationships. When a person wants to establish control, they may ask exploratory questions so that you can share your thoughts and concerns as early as possible. Given their hidden agenda, they can use your answers to manipulate your decision.
E.g., “Oh my God, I never heard the good news about that company. What is your experience?” “Well, you just need to explain to me why you are angry with me again.”
The Distort the Facts
Emotional manipulators are masters who are good at using lies, lies, or false statements to change reality to confuse you. They may exaggerate events and make themselves look more vulnerable. They may also underestimate their role in the conflict to get your sympathy.
E.g., “I asked an issue about the project, and she came to me and yelled at me that I had never done anything to help her, but you know what I did, right?” “I cried all night without blinking.”
They Engage in Intellectual Bullying
If someone is at a loss when asking a question, but statistics, technical terms, or facts overwhelm you, you may be experiencing emotional manipulation. Some manipulators are assumed to be experts, and they impose “knowledge” on you. It is especially common in financial or sales situations.
E.g., “You are a novice, so I don’t want you to understand.” “I know these are a set of numbers for you so that I will say it slowly.”
They Engage in Bureaucratic Bullying
Likewise, in a business environment, emotional manipulators may overwhelm you with paperwork, red tape, procedures, or Anything that might hinder you. It is a unique possibility if you indicate to check carefully or raise questions that suspect its shortcomings or weaknesses.
E.g., “This is too difficult for you. I will stop now and save my energy.” “You don’t know the headaches you have created for yourself.”
They Make You Feel Sorry for Expressing Your Doubts
If you ask questions or make suggestions, the emotional Manipulator will most likely respond radically or try to lead you into an argument. This strategy enables them to control their decisions and influence your decisions. They may also use this situation to make you feel inside by expressing your doubts first.
E.g., “I don’t understand why you don’t trust me.” “You know I’m just an anxious person. I can’t help. I always want to know where you are.”
They Reduced Your Problems and Played Their Part
If your day is terrible, emotional manipulators may take this opportunity to ask their questions. The purpose is to invalidate what you are experiencing so that you are forced to focus on them and exert emotional energy on their problems.
E.g., “Do you think this is bad? You don’t have to deal with the cube partner who has been talking on the phone.” “Thank you for having a brother. I have been alone all my life.”
They Acted Like Martyrs
People who manipulate people’s emotions may be eager to agree to help something but then turn around to drag their feet or find ways to avoid them from reaching an agreement. Their behavior may be burdensome, and they will try to use your emotions to get out of trouble.
E.g., “I know you need my help. It’s just a lot, and I’m at a loss.” “It’s harder than it looks. I don’t think you know when you ask me.”
When They Say Rude or Mean Things, They Always “Joking”
Critical comments may be disguised as humor or satire. They may pretend to be joking, but what they are trying to do is sow the seeds of doubt.
E.g., “Gosh, you look tired!” “Well, if you are going to get up from your desk and walk, you won’t be out of breath.”
They Are Not Responsible
Emotional manipulators will never take responsibility for their mistakes. However, they will try to find a way to make you feel inward about everything, from battle to failed project. Even if they are at fault, you may apologize.
E.g., “I do this because I love you so much.” “If you do not participate in the child’s reward program, you can complete it correctly.”
They Always Fit You
When you are happy, they will find a reason to take the spotlight away from you. It can also happen in a negative sense. When you encounter tragedy or frustration, emotional manipulators may make their problems look worse or more urgent.
E.g., “Your raise is great, but do you see other people get a full promotion?” “Sorry, your grandfather passed away. I lost two of my grandparents in two weeks, so at least it’s not that bad.”
They Are Always Criticizing You
Emotional manipulators may fire you or degrade you without joking or irony. Their comments are designed to eliminate your self-esteem. Their purpose is to laugh at and marginalize you. Usually, the Manipulator projects its sense of insecurity.
E.g., “Don’t you think this dress is a bit of inspiration for client meetings? I think this is a way to get an account.” “All you have to do is eat.”
They Use Your Insecurity Against You
When they know your weaknesses, they can use them to hurt you. They may comment and take actions designed to make you feel vulnerable and frustrated.
E.g., “You said that you never want your children to grow up in dilapidated houses. See what you do to them now.” “This is a tough listener. If I were you, I would be nervous.”
The Deal with You with Your Feelings
If you are unhappy, the person who is manipulating you may try to make you feel guilty about yourself. They may blame you for being unreasonable or underinvesting.
E.g., “If you love me, then you will never question me.” “I can’t accept this job. I don’t want to be so far away from my children.”
They Use Inner GUI To Travel or Ultimatum
During disagreements or fights, manipulative people will make dramatic statements to get you into trouble. They will target the depression with inflammatory statements to arouse apologies.
E.g., “If you leave me, I shouldn’t live.” “If you can’t come here this weekend, I think it shows your level of dedication to this office.”
They Are Negative
A passive and aggressive person may avoid confrontation. They use people nearby you to communicate with you instead. They may also talk to colleagues behind the scenes.
E.g., “I will talk about this, but I know you are busy.” “I think it’s better to listen to other people’s voices than mine because we are so close.”
They Give You Silent Treatment
They will not respond to your phone calls, emails, direct messages, or any other communication form. They use silence to gain control and hold you accountable for your actions. This technique is designed to make you question the memory of the event. When you are no longer sure what happened, they can point you out and hold you accountable for misunderstandings.
E.g., “I never said it. You are reimagining things.” “I won’t do this. You know I’m too busy.”
By definition, manipulation can be difficult to detect, especially in friendships, which develop more slowly over time than in romantic relationships. The truth is that no one wants to admit that their favorite person in the world (their best friend) is manipulative. Even if they find it hard to ignore the feeling of sinking every time a friend does something immoral. Don’t worry, and manipulation does not make your friends a bad person; it just means that they have a lot to read about relationships and survive in relationships. The first step in handling manipulative friendships is, to be honest with the red flags you notice.
Sometimes it is difficult to see that you are being used until you are deeply in friendship, making finding solutions more difficult. Take time to view your friendships and areas of concern. Here, early detection is the key. Like any other relationship, trading with your concerns will ease any future conflicts between you and your friends.
They Are Passive and Aggressive They avoid confrontation, but their frustration is usually achieved through mutual friends. Your mutual friend may say: “Now anyone is dissatisfied with you; you should chat with her.” It is called “manipulation” because she has put all your responsibility on you. She is also loyal to you because you will inevitably feel inside before you do this.
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